The Jotbook

Happy Mother’s Day!

 Remember Mom with nice gestures, kind words, your presence is always better than your presents. Spending time with Mom is the best present she could receive.

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Park Cleanup

 If you have some spare time and a rake, come down to the Reston Memorial Park on Thursday, May 17. (Rain date is May 22).

From Winter to Summer

Last weekend’s temperature went straight from winter to summer. Not that I am complaining, I just wondered where spring went. Unfortunately, along with spring/summer comes those unwanted pests – mosquitoes and ticks. Here are some helpful hints:

Mosquito Yard Spray

 Big bottle of cheap mouthwash, 3 cups of Epsom salt, 3 stale 12 oz cheap beer. Mix those three ingredients until salt is dissolved. Spray anywhere you sit outside, around pools, will not harm plants or flowers. Mosquitoes are gone from that area for approximately 80 days. Spray your deck, all around sitting areas twice a summer.

Animal and Ticks:

 BRAVECTO is a chewable tablet for your canine available at your vet clinic. Bravecto kills fleas and ticks for 12 weeks. Recommended for dogs and puppies 6 months of age and older. Each tablet contains: Active ingredient 1000 mg of Fluralaner and should be given according to weight. I gave my chocolate labs one tablet Sunday morning and by evening dead ticks were being brushed out of their fur.

Skunk Smell.

 I thought this might help the bathing process. Spread peanut butter at dog height on your shower wall and proceed to bathe your precious pooch while he is enjoying a healthy snack. It doesn’t do anything for the skunk smell but helps keep them contained.

Just for Laughs

 Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

 Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

 When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

 The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry but he’s dead. Edna replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry…”

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 I once taught an 8 a.m. college class. So many grandparents died that semester. I then moved my class to 3 p.m. No more deaths. And that, my friends, is how I save lives.

 

© Reston Recorder